Stupid, stupid, stupid! He said I would do it, and I did it.” And then, to add insult to injury, the rooster crowed, stupid bird.

Could anything else go wrong? Looking around to make sure no one heard my betrayal, I turned, looked Jesus straight in the eye, and my world fell apart.

His face was bloody, and one eye was starting to swell. As the guards pushed him past me, he reached out his hand, but it was slapped down by the guard closest to him.

 As the last of them moved by, I asked, “Where are you taking him?”

“To Pilate. Caiaphas has found someone who will swear that Jesus told them not to pay their taxes.”

“He never. . .” I stopped before finishing, but the man turned and gave me a knowing look.

“I thought you looked familiar. We don’t have time to deal with you now, but I suggest you make yourself scarce before they start looking for his disciples.”

My world had ended. For three years, I followed Jesus. I had seen him perform miracles. I had heard him teach. I believed everything he said about his kingdom. I really thought he was the one, but apparently, I was wrong. If I could make my way back to Galilee, maybe Andrew and I could go back to fishing. Pick up where we had left off. Now I just had to find Andrew.

It wasn’t Andrew I found. It was Iscariot. I came to the end of an alley and ran into him.

I grabbed his tunic, “What were you thinking? He was our friend, and you’ve killed him.”

“It wasn’t supposed to end like this. I was so sure he was the one, but he just wouldn’t take that step. Last week, remember when the crowd was calling out his praises as he rode into Jerusalem? He had them right in the palm of his hand, all he had to do was say the word, and they would have made him King.”

“And then what? Do you really think that Caesar would have just let our country go?”

“Didn’t you hear him in the garden? He said he could call down twelve thousand angels. Twelve thousand angels. Not even Rome could stand against twelve thousand angels.

“I thought, I thought he just needed a shove. And now his blood is on my hands.”

Pushing me aside, he walked away, and that was the last I saw of him.